Before and After and other words.

We often use 'before and after' as prepositions instead of adverbs in the military.

Before he deployed.

After R&R.

Before training.

After in-processing.

And 'until' becomes awfully important.

Eventually 6 weeks turns into 3 days before he leaves. Eventually that can turn into 3 months until I see him again. After training, before deployment.. we should take a vacation.

'Someday' takes precedence.

Did you know that the offical Scrabble rules say that you cannot use foreign words? See:   English-language game of Scrabble, foreign words cannot be placed on the Scrabble board.

Soupir.

Multiplication

It'll be ok.

Times 3.

Has to be.

Versus

Drawing a line down the center of the paper to deal with the pros and cons is absolutely a good thing to do. If more people did this, I wouldn't have to listen to so many people bitch about their decisions. I could just listen to my own bitching, which I definitely prefer.


I don't actually practice the drawing of a line down the paper physically. I just do it in my head. I like diagrams. I like charts. Mostly I like paper that has been colored or drawn on. Actually, really I like ANYTHING that has been colored or drawn on.

I've gotten off subject.

Ok.

Tomorrow is Monday. And the beginning of an INSANE week.  Thank God. We've finally made it to this week. Finally. Even better: I'm damn close to being done packing. As of Tuesday we'll be living out of suitcases and sleeping on our mattress on the floor with sleeping bags.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I do NOT like it here. I don't really mean to offend any one that does like it here, or any of the truly amazing people that I've met here. But seriously. My head hurts here. My sinuses are weeping. Actually, they're pounding.

If it doesn't rain.. or if it rains lightly, the air turns stagnant in about 2 seconds.. This is not an observation, this is weather channel FACT. Humidity + stagnant air = mold. I'm not talking about the regular mold spores that every day cleaning gets rid of.. I'm talking about the mold that grows naturally in air vents and under carpet and behind my nasty rubber baseboards...the places my property management company says that I'm not supposed to clean because it would mean tearing my house apart.

So I can't breath unless I spend a good chunk of my day outside or just not in my house.. which I can do. Except for those weeks where I'm stuck inside and packing. Not all of the properties that this particular property management company owns are like this, or so I hear. These houses are just really, really old. In fact, their so old that in the next couple years, they're scheduled to be demolished. They've already started tearing down the playgrounds around the neighborhood.

When it does rain here. It rains. And it rains. And it rains some more. And then it won't rain, but there will just be ominous clouds. And I'll wake up in the morning, open my back door to let the dog outside, and look at the sky, and think to myself... Please. Please just let me see the sun a little. Just a little. ...I don't give a damn about cold or hot or snow or ice.. But EVERYONE, any sane person.. needs to see the sun every once in awhile. 


Next week, it'll be cold where I am. Really, really f-ing cold. The dog will probably be begging me for a sweater. The baby will probably be playing in the snow. And I will be right there with her.

And I'll be able to breathe again. To think again.

Finally.

9 days and counting

Technically it doesn't really matter if the carpet gets vacuumed today, or if freshly laundered clothes get hung up. I really, really need to focus on that. It doesn't matter that the house is starting to echo. Or that Auralia decided to try to paint her nails. ...With clear nail polish, fortunately.

It doesn't matter.

We're 9 days away from moving day.

So what matters is that, most of my belongings are packed. I don't think I've done any lasting damage to my child's psychological well-being during this process, so far. My husband's still talking to me. My dog has not tried to dig a gigantic hole in the backyard for 2 days in a row now, and it looks like the weather may hold in time for me to drive to Colorado. No major snow storms at least.

I always said that if Jer was deployed again, I'd move back to Colorado. Again. But saying that, thinking that, knowing that I would indeed do it... doesn't make it any easier. A part of me is ashamed for going back home. I know other women who stay where they hate to be when their husband deploys... Sometimes it's because they can't afford to move themselves back home, and maybe some because they feel like it's their "sacrifice" to their husband, to their country.. To stay where they don't want to be while their spouse is off somewhere fighting. Well.. I'm not that good of a person, and I have the money to move. Hence.. me moving.

But while we know I can't get a command sponsorship to go where Jer's going, I could technically move myself to Korea. Not that he'd get to live with me. I could see if my parents or Jer's parents would watch all of my animals for a year, I could sell all of our stuff and go find an apartment semi close to Jer. Auralia would look awfully cute speaking a different language.

Technically it's a possibility. Albeit a really freaking expensive possibility. Between now and July I could probably save up the money to move to Korea. Maybe. It'd be close.

This is our life.

Am I screwing up the child or our marriage by choosing to stay stateside?