Sometimes, I just need to lay down with my hubby for 5 minutes. Within 5 minutes everything can calm down or rev up, within 5 minutes we can lay everything out that's important...even if it can't be completely discussed in the 5 minutes.
Sometimes, those 5 minutes are on the floor in the living room with the baby and the cats and the dog. Because if the mama lays on the floor then of course the baby is going to come sit and of course the dog is going to want to lay on the mama and then the cats are going to come see what's going on. So then the hubby comes along to take some of the weight and we all end up just laying for a few minutes. Until the baby decides we all need slobbery kisses and the dog starts eating my hair in between slobbering on the cats and the cats..try to get away from the dog while still staying in close range.
Sometimes I forget to take those minutes. And I really shouldn't. They make all the difference in my life.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
...Socks. And stuff.
I am a really good deployment-wife. And a really horrible garrison-wife.
That pretty much sums it up.
I hate green socks. Well..not the green socks. But the fact that the hundreds of pairs of green socks start turning light-green, or diarrhea-brown...I hate that. And the fact that I should match them all. That a light-green sock should go with another light-green sock just kills me, only because one half of the pair will be light green at the top and dark green around the sole and the other half of that pair will be diarrhea-brown all the way through. Sigh. I also occasionally hate white socks. I didn't, until a couple days ago.. That's when I noticed that some of the white socks with gray toes and heel...well some times that gray part is right by the ankle lining, and sometimes it's about 2 centimeters down from the ankle lining. Aaha moment, let me tell you.
I'd like to think that I support my husband at his job. With his job. I'm interested in what he does, I love that he does his best and that he works hard at his job. I'm cordial to the people he works with. I love to help him learn more about his job and love to help him study for promotions. But I hate.. really, really abhor from the fact that I can't go yell at people when he's treated unfairly. Not yell necessarily...but convince whoever is doing the wrong-doing that they should perhaps stop. Or else. Lol. When someone's lost an important piece of paper about him that could really screw him over. Or when someone's misfiled a form (6 times) that would let us get a bonus. I hate that.
There are proper procedures for everything in the military. I'm sure that somewhere, in some handbook is an article about how to match discolored socks. Just like I'm sure that somewhere, in some handbook is an article about how to complain about being treated like crap by a bunch of paper-pushers.
I just know I'd feel better if I could go punch someone in a certain office. Same goes with insurance people.
That pretty much sums it up.
I hate green socks. Well..not the green socks. But the fact that the hundreds of pairs of green socks start turning light-green, or diarrhea-brown...I hate that. And the fact that I should match them all. That a light-green sock should go with another light-green sock just kills me, only because one half of the pair will be light green at the top and dark green around the sole and the other half of that pair will be diarrhea-brown all the way through. Sigh. I also occasionally hate white socks. I didn't, until a couple days ago.. That's when I noticed that some of the white socks with gray toes and heel...well some times that gray part is right by the ankle lining, and sometimes it's about 2 centimeters down from the ankle lining. Aaha moment, let me tell you.
I'd like to think that I support my husband at his job. With his job. I'm interested in what he does, I love that he does his best and that he works hard at his job. I'm cordial to the people he works with. I love to help him learn more about his job and love to help him study for promotions. But I hate.. really, really abhor from the fact that I can't go yell at people when he's treated unfairly. Not yell necessarily...but convince whoever is doing the wrong-doing that they should perhaps stop. Or else. Lol. When someone's lost an important piece of paper about him that could really screw him over. Or when someone's misfiled a form (6 times) that would let us get a bonus. I hate that.
There are proper procedures for everything in the military. I'm sure that somewhere, in some handbook is an article about how to match discolored socks. Just like I'm sure that somewhere, in some handbook is an article about how to complain about being treated like crap by a bunch of paper-pushers.
I just know I'd feel better if I could go punch someone in a certain office. Same goes with insurance people.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
For Better or Worse
I'm really horrible at letting him make his own decisions. Really, a lot. Most of the decisions that we make or that need to be made in the last few years are some major things that really effect both of us though. I get pushy, a little self-centered, and can be just plain mean if the occasion warrants. Everything that we've been discussing the last few weeks really impacts the rest of our lives, so I'm trying to look at it from all angles.
But, I've talked myself into the decision that he wants. Because it's what he wants. And the outcome can't be any worse then when we first joined the military. We won't be losing anything that we have, he'll gain some more experience, have time to finish his degree, and since 6 months of next year will be spent in Arizona, I'll get a tan. We're not getting any of the bonuses that I'd like to have... but we're getting everything that's really important to him.. Well, my tan is probably not oh so important to him...but the rest is.
We wanted to have another baby next year. I don't know if I want to have a baby in Arizona while he's in AIT. No paternity leave from training...but I absolutely know that I have people who will offer to come stay with me for a week or two until I've recovered from another c-section. And we'll be closer to our family and some friends during those 6 months.
For some reason I feel like I'm moving further away though.
Maybe because we're leaving it all up to chance again. I don't know where we'll go after he finishes AIT (again). We'll be waiting and waiting and waiting for orders, again. Then he'll get to a new post and I'll be waiting to see if he'll deploy right away, again. But I know we'll have a little less then 2 years in the military after his next AIT, I know we'll be getting out after that.
I know I'll be fitting in a trip to Colorado some time in the next month or 2 maybe, that I'll be going to Hawaii in September, back to Colorado for the holidays and will move to Arizona next February. I know this gives me the opportunity to take some classes at the school here, and for Jer to take some classes here as well. It gives him the opportunity to get his next promotion (he goes to the board in 3 weeks!!!)
...I know that nothing's really changing. But it feels like it is, and that it's huge.
But, I've talked myself into the decision that he wants. Because it's what he wants. And the outcome can't be any worse then when we first joined the military. We won't be losing anything that we have, he'll gain some more experience, have time to finish his degree, and since 6 months of next year will be spent in Arizona, I'll get a tan. We're not getting any of the bonuses that I'd like to have... but we're getting everything that's really important to him.. Well, my tan is probably not oh so important to him...but the rest is.
We wanted to have another baby next year. I don't know if I want to have a baby in Arizona while he's in AIT. No paternity leave from training...but I absolutely know that I have people who will offer to come stay with me for a week or two until I've recovered from another c-section. And we'll be closer to our family and some friends during those 6 months.
For some reason I feel like I'm moving further away though.
Maybe because we're leaving it all up to chance again. I don't know where we'll go after he finishes AIT (again). We'll be waiting and waiting and waiting for orders, again. Then he'll get to a new post and I'll be waiting to see if he'll deploy right away, again. But I know we'll have a little less then 2 years in the military after his next AIT, I know we'll be getting out after that.
I know I'll be fitting in a trip to Colorado some time in the next month or 2 maybe, that I'll be going to Hawaii in September, back to Colorado for the holidays and will move to Arizona next February. I know this gives me the opportunity to take some classes at the school here, and for Jer to take some classes here as well. It gives him the opportunity to get his next promotion (he goes to the board in 3 weeks!!!)
...I know that nothing's really changing. But it feels like it is, and that it's huge.
Monday, May 9, 2011
More Ramblings
A year ago I was counting down the days until deployment was over. I was taking care of my baby girl and helping my mom out when she wasn't completely healed from a spinal fusion.
This year, my baby is now a toddler. One who recently decided that everything is now "uh oh" or "hippo" or "up". And instead of counting down the days, we're still trying to figure out what we should do with the next couple years.
We could stay here until next February, when Jer could go back to AIT in Arizona for 6 months...we wouldn't be getting a bonus or a guaranteed slot at a post that we'd want to live at. But he'd be expanding his field a little bit, getting more experience and we'd just deal with going some where new when he graduated. It'd give us another 15 months without a deployment, pretty guaranteed. That's a pretty good chunk of time without a deployment in today's military since we've already had about 10 months. It could happen again tho, what happened last time. He could graduate from AIT and immediately be deployed again...which happens. We know he'll most likely be deployed once more while we're still in the military and we know how to deal with it.
...We can wait. We can see if he can reenlist in a month or two for his same MOS and see if we can get a post we want to be at. No guarantees that'll open up tho.. and the school in the paragraph above is filling up awfully fast already. The sooner he reenlists, the sooner we'll be out of the military.
I'm sorry. Everyone reading this is probably awfully bored with all these thoughts. Lol. Really, I'm just trying to get it all straight in my head.
Anyway... my parents were out here for Mother's Day weekend, and that was really great. It's so amazing, the bond between my mom and my daughter. Months go by without them seeing each other, but my 15 month old knows her grandma. It's also amazing that in the 9ish months that I've lived here, last Friday was the first night Jer and I have gone out by ourselves in this state.
Yep.
We're still trying to plan a trip back to Colorado some time in the next few weeks... hopefully we'll know some dates in the next few days. I wish we could bring Tuck.. but, he's too big to fit in a carry on. Jer's 25th birthday is next week :) Send presents... he thinks he's getting old.
And now my baby is awake. "Up" "Up" "Up" "Uh Oh"
This year, my baby is now a toddler. One who recently decided that everything is now "uh oh" or "hippo" or "up". And instead of counting down the days, we're still trying to figure out what we should do with the next couple years.
We could stay here until next February, when Jer could go back to AIT in Arizona for 6 months...we wouldn't be getting a bonus or a guaranteed slot at a post that we'd want to live at. But he'd be expanding his field a little bit, getting more experience and we'd just deal with going some where new when he graduated. It'd give us another 15 months without a deployment, pretty guaranteed. That's a pretty good chunk of time without a deployment in today's military since we've already had about 10 months. It could happen again tho, what happened last time. He could graduate from AIT and immediately be deployed again...which happens. We know he'll most likely be deployed once more while we're still in the military and we know how to deal with it.
...We can wait. We can see if he can reenlist in a month or two for his same MOS and see if we can get a post we want to be at. No guarantees that'll open up tho.. and the school in the paragraph above is filling up awfully fast already. The sooner he reenlists, the sooner we'll be out of the military.
I'm sorry. Everyone reading this is probably awfully bored with all these thoughts. Lol. Really, I'm just trying to get it all straight in my head.
Anyway... my parents were out here for Mother's Day weekend, and that was really great. It's so amazing, the bond between my mom and my daughter. Months go by without them seeing each other, but my 15 month old knows her grandma. It's also amazing that in the 9ish months that I've lived here, last Friday was the first night Jer and I have gone out by ourselves in this state.
Yep.
We're still trying to plan a trip back to Colorado some time in the next few weeks... hopefully we'll know some dates in the next few days. I wish we could bring Tuck.. but, he's too big to fit in a carry on. Jer's 25th birthday is next week :) Send presents... he thinks he's getting old.
And now my baby is awake. "Up" "Up" "Up" "Uh Oh"
Saturday, May 7, 2011
..I don't even have a title for this one
Sometimes it just baffles me how fast things can change. We've had decisions to think about and to potentially decide upon and we've made decisions, ones we're happy with and then something, usually small, will change and it changes everything else. Which...that doesn't really bother me. Change is inevitable, and most of the time I think I roll with the changes pretty well. And these changes bring up new options, there are just some options available that I'm not really into and options that he is into.
So, maybe we'll wait another couple weeks and see if any other options that I feel more inclined towards open up. Or maybe I'll say, to hell with it, and lets just go with Choice A or B or C...whichever one he likes the best.
Sigh.
I have more to write about, but it'll wait until tomorrow.
So, maybe we'll wait another couple weeks and see if any other options that I feel more inclined towards open up. Or maybe I'll say, to hell with it, and lets just go with Choice A or B or C...whichever one he likes the best.
Sigh.
I have more to write about, but it'll wait until tomorrow.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Reminder
I'm very proud of our military. Proud to be, in an extremely indirect way, part of the intelligence community.
I'm a little scared...Scared for our troops currently in Afghanistan.
I'm a little appalled. Appalled at everyone who thinks that everything will be better now that one man in dead. A man is dead. One who spread his ideals and terrorism around the world. He is dead, his ideals are not. And I'm ashamed of every single person I know who thinks that all is better in the Middle East now. Idiots.
I am NOT ashamed of calling you an idiot.
I'm not one of those people who were oh so concerned about him being dead. As far as I'm concerned, he was an icon. Icons die. When icons die, it pisses a lot of people off. And while I think that my version of justice has been served, I think everyone even slightly related to the military community should be thinking about and hopefully, avoiding, the repercussions that might be felt. Haven't any of you noticed the abundance of security the last few days?
I think we need to come together, unite, and instead of rejoicing the death of a man, start planning the death of terrorism.
I'm a little scared...Scared for our troops currently in Afghanistan.
I'm a little appalled. Appalled at everyone who thinks that everything will be better now that one man in dead. A man is dead. One who spread his ideals and terrorism around the world. He is dead, his ideals are not. And I'm ashamed of every single person I know who thinks that all is better in the Middle East now. Idiots.
I am NOT ashamed of calling you an idiot.
I'm not one of those people who were oh so concerned about him being dead. As far as I'm concerned, he was an icon. Icons die. When icons die, it pisses a lot of people off. And while I think that my version of justice has been served, I think everyone even slightly related to the military community should be thinking about and hopefully, avoiding, the repercussions that might be felt. Haven't any of you noticed the abundance of security the last few days?
I think we need to come together, unite, and instead of rejoicing the death of a man, start planning the death of terrorism.
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