9 days and counting

Technically it doesn't really matter if the carpet gets vacuumed today, or if freshly laundered clothes get hung up. I really, really need to focus on that. It doesn't matter that the house is starting to echo. Or that Auralia decided to try to paint her nails. ...With clear nail polish, fortunately.

It doesn't matter.

We're 9 days away from moving day.

So what matters is that, most of my belongings are packed. I don't think I've done any lasting damage to my child's psychological well-being during this process, so far. My husband's still talking to me. My dog has not tried to dig a gigantic hole in the backyard for 2 days in a row now, and it looks like the weather may hold in time for me to drive to Colorado. No major snow storms at least.

I always said that if Jer was deployed again, I'd move back to Colorado. Again. But saying that, thinking that, knowing that I would indeed do it... doesn't make it any easier. A part of me is ashamed for going back home. I know other women who stay where they hate to be when their husband deploys... Sometimes it's because they can't afford to move themselves back home, and maybe some because they feel like it's their "sacrifice" to their husband, to their country.. To stay where they don't want to be while their spouse is off somewhere fighting. Well.. I'm not that good of a person, and I have the money to move. Hence.. me moving.

But while we know I can't get a command sponsorship to go where Jer's going, I could technically move myself to Korea. Not that he'd get to live with me. I could see if my parents or Jer's parents would watch all of my animals for a year, I could sell all of our stuff and go find an apartment semi close to Jer. Auralia would look awfully cute speaking a different language.

Technically it's a possibility. Albeit a really freaking expensive possibility. Between now and July I could probably save up the money to move to Korea. Maybe. It'd be close.

This is our life.

Am I screwing up the child or our marriage by choosing to stay stateside?