Looking for sloppy kisses

I think as parents, a lot of times we forget to enjoy our children and what a shame that is. We get them needing us and then wanting us for just a few years, where they actually want to be around us, want our attention, where they actively look for our pride. I'm trying to enjoy it.

The last time I visited my parents and my in-laws, I watched my mom with my daughter, watched them enjoy each other... it was amazing. Watched my in-laws and the rest of my family look at her and show her off with pride and joy and none of the annoyance or stress-lines between the eyebrows that I know I get after a long afternoon with my baby. True, they don't spend 24 hours a day with her, or even 12 hours a day with her so they can enjoy everything about her, even the tears and tantrums that inevitably happens after missing a nap or two. And watching them enjoy her, makes me wonder if I'm enjoying her as much as I should be.

Since moving away from my family, I think I got caught up in the stress of it all. The moving across country, unpacking, learning a new city, a new state, a new post...thank God I didn't have to learn a new country and new language. But not only did I have to unpack and explore a new state, my husband and I had to reacquaint after not living with each other for so long. Redeployment can be hell on some marriages, just as deployment is hell on marriages, and thankfully my marriage has not gone through any of the horrors that many do while readjusting.. but still, it's a readjustment. Hubby is not only readjusting to living with me, but living with a baby for the first time. A baby that seems to appreciate me a lot more then she appreciates him.. not because he's not an amazing, thoughtful daddy but just because she doesn't know him.

Anyway, I got caught up in all of that. Tension/stress headaches plagued me the first weeks I was here... I also blame the new climate, but, it was no fun. Baby's do not like stressed out mama's, and husband's do not like cranky mama's or cranky baby's. After going back to my native Colorado and getting to witness the connection between my baby and all of her family there... I feel better. Less stressed, more...peaceful, I guess would be the word. Peaceful with the changes happening in my life, with my relationships, with the baby.

I look forward to the days where the baby is happy, smiling, laughing, giving sloppy, open-mouthed kisses out freely, but I also understand that she is a person. She will have bad days.. add teething, massive brain development, and rainy days stuck inside, well.. she will have bad days. Lol. But I need to remember that one hour of her being grumpy does not make a bad day, especially when once she's eaten a little and taken a little nap, she'll be looking for sloppy kisses again.